Lessons in Prejudice
On Saturday, while picking up trash at Minnehaha Falls, I was thinking about the message I would present with Charity McCoy at Jacob's Well about UnLearning Prejudice. I headed toward the steep, wooded hillside where clandestine groups gather and… let’s just say, leave a mess. I was back for my second load of garbage and checked below the bridge that crosses over to the Veterans Home. I could see garbage everywhere. As soon as I got under the bridge I spotted a man camped out in the shelter of the bridge with one huge, two smaller waterproof packs and a couple paper bags of stuff. My programming kicked in immediately. Be friendly, but wary. I greeted him, and he returned it. He noticed my big yellow plastic bag and asked if I had anymore. Even though I’d brought an extra to fill with trash I figured he could use one to keep things dry. “Sure,” I said and walked over and gave him my extra. He immediately got up and started picking up beer and spray paint cans, paper cups… trash… along with me.
He wanted to help. “Thanks for helping,” I said. “Why not?” he said. We worked the hill. Our bags were filling fast and we talked. “What brought you here?” I asked, curious about his situation. “My feet,” he answered evasively. “What brought you here?” “My car.” I answered. Silence. More small talk. He asked me what group was doing this. I told him. We talked more and he finally let on that he has been dealing with recovery issues for 25 years and wasn’t sure where he was headed, but that he better get a plan pretty soon. He told me how important it is that we work together because that is how things get done. He worked hard. It was getting hot and everything was wet and dirty. The hillside was treacherous under the bridge with all the loose rock and dirt.
I figure he is my age. Smart. Experienced. A good guy. I didn’t know him well, but I liked him. He told me his name was Mike when I left. We shook hands. He didn’t want any help, only to help. I would like to meet this child of God again sometime.
Jacob’s Bridge. Except I didn’t change his life forever. But he might have changed mine. Hmmm… makes you wonder who the ‘Jesus’ in the story is, doesn’t it…
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Did you get it, though?
Thanks for your thoughts as well. But what i really want to know... did anyone get the "jacob's bridge" idea?
To me... that's the really big 'aha!'
I get it
I just had this great reply, typed it all out and didn't submit it, frustrating. I will try to recreate what I was saying.
Yes, I get it, Jacob's bridge, reaching across boundaries to accept one another as we are, very important. It seems like you really met in the middle and that is important as well, you can't have one person making an effort and the other ignoring the effort, you have to meet in the middle to truly change views. Those preconceived notions turn into judgements which turn into prejudices. You didn't judge Mike and he didn't judge you, you met in them middle and hopefully both of you took something away from that experience. I think that is the way God wants to work in the World. That being said, I don't know if I would have done the same thing Greg. I think my "danger" warning alarm would have gone off in my brain and I would have turned and walked away. Is that prejudice, I don't know but I don't feel that it is I think it is looking out for my own wellbeing. However, I did step out of my comfort zone this week and I talked to a handicapped person, I think she has CP and I have never known how to talk to people that are handicapped, I am always very uncomfortable and try to not look or think about. This time was different though, we engaged in a conversation and I found her really intelligent as well as funny. She asked why I didn't talk to her before now being that we work together and I was honest and said that I didn't know how to and wasn't sure about her hanicap if she was able to hold conversations, she actually appricated what I had to say and said that she gets that alot. So we actually walked away from this with a plan to do an education piece on CP in the next newsletter for our group as well as a focus on her as a person in my leaders lunch, also known as "smashing silo" so that others can get to know who she truly is, not just what she looks like.
Monica
Thanks Greg...
This story, like reading Claiborne's Irresistible Revolution, makes me rethink again who is my family...who is poor/rich...who serves who...
I'm beginning to get small glimpses of what REALLY LIVING in this world could look like...it really is upside down from our usual stuff. Loving myself and my own family in the biggest way is looking less and less like watching out for us and our needs and more like picking up trash with the man under the bridge.
Sometimes loving my family feels like it should keep me from taking risks and living more broadly for the sake of others...but in one sense they ultimately depend on each other. Anyone else see the opposition and the interdependence of these?
thoughts
what a great example of how God works in our World. Sometimes when you open your heart and mind to others you can really learn something.
Sometimes I feel like I have only begun to live, well, live the life that God intended me to live. My new mantra is "be kind to yourself, love yourself", I didn't always hear that and sometimes it is still hard. But when I do hear that I have more confidence and I am more open to seeing the good things in life, the important things in life. I can see that other people are good and stay open to interaction with those folks. I think that is the foundation for building a better relationship with God.
Monica